Monday, August 18, 2014

Thirty Weeks

Wow! 30 Weeks! Where has the time gone? This pregnancy is going by extremely fast. Maybe I should write a little bit about my thoughts and feelings during pregnancy #3 before it's over! A few weeks ago I wrote about my initial thoughts upon learning that I was expecting again. It still sits in my draft folder. I'm not sure if I will ever publish it since it is personal--maybe a little too honest.

My sister is expecting her third child October 1st. I'm due October 25th. I found out that she was expecting a little bit before I knew myself. I knew that Laura and Will wanted a third child so I was truly happy to find out that they were expecting. However, I'd be lying if I didn't admit to thinking something along the lines of "Oh my goodness! Are they crazy? They have no family to help out where they live. They are barely getting by now!" So, it was a little ironic that I found out I was expecting a few days later. (Hello, we have no family here either. We barely keep it all together with our kids, too!) I think that's probably the status quo for all young families.

My first and second trimesters have passed quickly and uneventfully. Thankfully, I don't normally experience nausea and vomiting during my pregnancies. During the first trimester, I occasionally felt queasy, but it was usually brought on by having an empty stomach. Some fresh air and a small snack would make me feel better until the symptoms passed. I did experience increased fatigue, but it was hard to pinpoint if it was due to taking care of two young children every day nearly all day or if it was because of the pregnancy. I felt great during the second trimester. I began to feel the baby's fluttering movements at around 16 weeks. I started really needing maternity clothes around 18-20 weeks.

We waited until Mother's Day to share our news when I was about 15 weeks pregnant. I decided that I really wanted to wait to find out the baby's gender this time around. I have always said that if we had one boy and one girl, we should wait and be surprised on the third child because we would not have a strong preference for the gender. To his credit, Jeremy let me decide about it and was supportive, but I think he would rather know in advance! It really wasn't hard to wait to find out for the first 20+ weeks. Even at the 20 week ultrasound, it wasn't that bad walking away without knowing. The baby was healthy and checked out great and we were happy!!! That's all that mattered.

It is getting harder to wait now. Jeremy and I have NEVER been that couple that just KNOW what they want to name their baby. Now that we are getting down to the wire and still have no definite name for a boy OR a girl, it is making me feel a little anxious. I have never felt so unprepared to have a child and yet I know now that so much of what we think we must have is not needed or can be bought later at any time. (Diapers--check, breasts--check, place for baby to sleep--check, swaddling blankets--check. THE END.)  We don't have an extra room for the baby. Caleb still needs his crib for a few more months. There is NO WAY I want to jeopardize good nighttime and nap sleep to transition him early out of his crib. So, we are planning to use a nice pack-n-play with a raised bed and changing table attachment for the baby. There are other issues to figure out like, "do I need another dresser for the baby? Where will we put it??? Should I just clear out some space in my walk-in closet? Buy a few small plastic drawers for storage?" I have no idea. I hate to make a big furniture investment before we figure out if we're having a boy or girl. It might dictate what I would choose. Eventually, I imagine we will get bunk beds, but at this point Caleb is too young to bunk. If we have a little boy, Caleb and baby boy would be great roommates at just two years apart. If we have a girl, I don't know. Maybe we let Emmy and Caleb share a room for awhile? Ugh. Just don't know. I know that a lot of these decisions will work themselves out in time, but it still makes me feel unprepared and anxious.

At 30 weeks, I definitely FEEL like I'm in my third trimester. I have less energy. I don't like to walk or stand for long periods of time. Bending over to pick up the always-there-toys-on-the-floor, is getting more uncomfortable and annoying. Still, these are normal feelings and I'm thankful for the important things--like good doctor's check-ups, normal weight gains, predictable baby movements, comfortable sleep, minimal swelling, minor aches, and most of all, a negative cystic fibrosis screen from Jeremy (after I tested positive as a carrier.) I didn't know until this pregnancy that I apparently have a cystic fibrosis gene. I had never been told that and it bothered me quite a bit the first few weeks. We just got Jeremy's blood work back a few weeks ago and so it was with relief that we learned that he did not have a carrier gene. It's just a reminder that nothing is really in our control when you submit to the unknowns of child bearing and rearing.

The next few weeks will be busy as Emily starts kindergarten and we adjust to that new earlier routine. Caleb's birthday is next month and I need to start planning if we want to do a party or do something quiet and low key. There's two year old photos to think about and booking a newborn photographer for October. There's mini vans to test drive and baby clothes to wash. I have lots of "house things" I would like to tackle, but little energy, motivation, or inspiration. Once Emily is in kindergarten for half a day every day, it may make it easier for me to check off some of the things from my list. Or I may just take a good nap.

PS One of these days, I will add a pregnancy photo!

36 weeks pregnant at Golden Gate Park

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